In honor of last week’s Transgender Day of Visibility, I’ve dedicated this post to championing transgender awareness and exploring the many different identities people peacefully go by.

While April 1 heralds a much more widely celebrated holiday, one day prior marks a day that should be celebrated by all annually. March 31 is the International Transgender Day of Visibility, which provides a perfect opportunity to celebrate transgender people around the world, as well as raise some much needed awareness. Unlike the Transgender Day of Remembrance, this day is meant to acknowledge living members of the transgender community as well. In a larger sense, I find there is much that the world still does not understand about gender identities and sexuality.

Before we even begin to explore transgender rights, it’s essential to understand and accept people as they choose to be. An important first distinction is the difference between sex and gender. When it comes to sex, the differences between the terms “male” and “female” are both anatomical and physiological. While genetic factors define an individual’s sex, there isn’t a binary split to sex. In some cases an individual can be born with a mixture of male and female genitalia, often making them intersex. While sex is rooted in science, gender on the other hand embodies both a cultural and a social role. Therefore, it is entirely possible that your sex and gender do not match up in a traditional sense. At the same time, an individual can also identify as gender fluid, meaning they do not identify as having a fixed gender.

GLAAD describes gender identity as: “A person’s internal, deeply held sense of their gender. For transgender people, their own internal gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth. Most people have a gender identity of man or woman (or boy or girl). For some people, their gender identity does not fit neatly into one of those two choices (see non-binary and/or genderqueer.) Unlike gender expression, gender identity is not visible to others.”

Genderqueer and non-binary individuals are categorized as not being exclusively masculine or feminine. Because— and here’s the crazy thing— humans do not have to fit into carefully defined concepts and categories. Gender expression is viewed as the external gender manifestations that are expressed on an individual basis through personal practices. This includes a person’s name (which they might feel more comfortable changing from the one assigned at birth), style, clothing, behavior, voice, body characteristics, and pronouns. While those who are married to outdated conceptions of the world refuse to budge from referring to people who appear masculine as “he” and those who appear feminine as “she,” it is critical to address people by the pronouns they choose to identify with. It costs you nothing, I repeat, nothing to respect other people’s identities. And guess what? What other people choose to identify as doesn’t take a damn thing away from your personal identity.

Some people choose not to respect other people’s identities because it’s too confusing or complicated. But the truth is, it’s really not. For many people, sharing their identity is highly important, because it represents a critical aspect of who they are. While anyone can choose to identify as a “he/him” or a “she/her,” there are also other options that are gender neutral. Examples of gender neutral pronouns include a singular usage of “they/their/them,” as well as other options such as ze, sie, hir, co, and ey. To known how to properly address someone, it’s entirely appropriate to politely ask the person what pronoun they choose to go by.

Again, it’s important to emphasize that what other people choose to identify as has absolutely nothing to do with you. One of the most infuriating arguments during the struggle to get gay marriage legalized was that using the term “marriage” for the joining of a same sex couple would somehow devalue the bond of marriage between heterosexual couples. It baffles me that people truly believe that what others choose to do can have so much power over their own sense of self. However, those who have not experienced exclusion in their lives due to an aspect of their being that they have no control over (such as sex, race, or sexuality) likely cannot understand what it’s like to be discriminated against for being yourself.

Sure, it would be easy if real life fit into cookie cutter explanations, but that rarely is the case. Real life is messy, and real people have the ability to change their mind about their identity. Since sexuality is fluid, labels often aren’t necessary in most cases. So if you don’t know exactly who you are or what you identify as, don’t feel pressured to have to label yourself. However, it’s very important to always respect what people choose to identify with. It’s not up to you to decide what is or is not acceptable or who or what someone is without their consent. It’s also not right to make judgements about people based off of your own perceptions of the person. For example, if someone identifies as bisexual, you have no right to say that they seem entirely homosexual and they just aren’t ready to admit it. If someone tells you they are straight, then it’s not up to you to speculate that they secretly aren’t. People also don’t have to share their identities with you just because you asked. Not everyone is comfortable revealing intimate aspects of their self.

Now that we’ve explored gender identities, it’s important to examine transgender identities in particular. Transgender identities are sadly still marginalized in society because people do not understand that gender identity does not always align with sex assigned by birth. GLAAD defines the adjective transgender as: “An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from what is typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. People under the transgender umbrella may describe themselves using one or more of a wide variety of terms —including transgender.” On the other hand, “transsexual” is “An older term that originated in the medical and psychological communities. Still preferred by some people who have permanently changed — or seek to change — their bodies through medical interventions, including but not limited to hormones and/or surgeries.” An important distinction to make is, unlike transgender, transsexual is not a blanket term. Many transgender people do not identity as transsexual, so refrain from using the latter term unless it has been indicated to be acceptable by the person you are speaking about.

Unfortunately in a time as progressive in developed countries as the present, there is still so much ignorance and hatred in relation to the trans community, and the LGBTQ+ community in general. An important aspect of eradicating hate, misconceptions, and ignorance is spreading awareness. Workplaces should consider transgender awareness training, and people should become more mindful of the terminology they use to speak to and about others. Another important aspect of transgender visibility is campaigning for more transgender representation in the media. Representation is a point of importance that often goes overlooked for those who neatly fit into the status quo (i.e. white, straight, cisgender people). It’s important to have more transgender, queer, and minority coverage in roles that do more than enforce stereotypes. Likewise, it’s essential to cast more LGBTQ+ people in a wide variety of roles that don’t pigeonhole them due to their gender identity or sexuality.

This is only the beginning of a far larger discussion, so please do not feel slighted if I left any component of your gender or identity out or failed to provide thorough enough explanations. The entire concept of gender and identity warrants much more talk in order to breed more education and awareness. Fortunately, the future is sure to bring positive change, since the present is already full of so much growth and education. We have a long way to come until everyone can feel safe in the world exactly as he, she, they, or ze are. But I have confidence that we can force those who breed hatred to become the marginalized party rather than those who don’t choose to conform to traditional gender roles or sexual identities.