In this article, I explore the negative effects of porn and the issues it can cause for individuals and relationships. Note: I am not anti-porn. People can and do safely watch porn and use it as a non-harmful outlet. However, there are also potentially negative consequences of habitual porn viewing.
The year is 2020, and porn is no longer something that you have to purchase in racy magazines and hide under your mattress. Now you don’t even have to pay to watch it. There are countless sites online that offer free viewing experiences to satisfy any fetish imaginable, and most of them don’t cost a penny. If you’re willing to pay for online experiences, the options multiply. While the sex industry is not yet entirely accepted in mainstream society, many understand that watching porn is a normal and natural habit for men in particular, though women also enjoy the voyeurism that porn provides. While watching porn is normal and safe for many, there are also adverse effects that can occur if viewers fail to separate fantasy from reality or become too dependent on porn.
Is Watching Porn Normal?
First, there is nothing to be ashamed of if you enjoy watching porn. Masturbation and sexual gratification are natural and normal. There is also nothing wrong with not watching porn or not getting enjoyment from it. Whether or not to you watch porn is a personal preference that you aren’t obliged to share with anyone. Some couples enjoy watching videos together to get into the mood, while others use the visualization for personal gratification. While many believe that porn is something only enjoyed by men, many women also watch it. And porn is something that is very, very normal to view. While that doesn’t make it healthy, it does mean that it is something many people indulge in. The bottom line is that occasionally viewing porn is not a problem within itself, as long as the filming and distribution are consensual. (This does not include child porn, revenge porn, porn involving animals, actual rape porn, or anything that lacks full consent.)
Just how many people watch porn? Statistics estimate 28,258 people watch porn on the internet every second, with 40 million Americans regularly visiting porn sites. Men tend to be more visually stimulated, which means that males watching porn makes sense. However, many females also get pleasure from watching porn. Some females watch porn because they feel the same lustful desire that is normally attributed to men. Others are curious about sexual techniques or are seeking to try something new with their partner. Many who view porn are merely curious. With feminist porn existing and many now entering the sex industry as a choice rather than a forced option, it’s entirely possible to watch porn in a way that empowers women. However, there are also negative consequences of viewing porn, especially if it becomes habitual.
Warping Reality
Porn viewing can have adverse effects on sex lives and sexual development, particularly if individuals are unable to grasp that what they are watching is not an accurate representation of sex. If people start watching porn at a young age, they run a higher chance of normalizing what they see. In turn, real sex with a normal human body can end up being far different than expected. Some people, particularly younger viewers, fail to grasp that porn is acting. The people taking part in productions are feigning pleasure for an audience. It is their job to act a certain way and convey pleasure, but that doesn’t mean that different acts and positions are necessarily pleasurable. Viewers who regularly watch porn during sexual development may develop warped expectations and perceptions of sex and the human body. Regular porn viewing can also lead to a decrease in sexual satisfaction.
Furthermore, mainstream porn presents a rather specific idea of the female body type. Though variation occurs, porn often depicts hourglass figures with fake breasts and butts. In reality, many females have bodies that aren’t as perfectly sculpted, bouncy, or firm. How many people have seen a normal image of a female breast in the media that hasn’t been sexualized to elicit pleasure, but actually shows a breast how it naturally looks? When celebrity paparazzi shots are taken showing normal, natural bodies, many online armies criticize breasts for being too big or too small or too saggy in their natural form, creating warped beauty perceptions. And for some reason, breastfeeding is an act rendered private and scandalous. Therefore, developing teens who engage in regular porn viewing, and even adults, might form limiting beauty perceptions that aren’t accurate.
Another problem with frequent porn watching is failing to separate expectations from reality, which occurs more often for heterosexual males. Real women can certainly behave like porn stars in the bedroom if they want to, but the reality is that many aren’t going to. Men who are conditioned to believe that porn is a representation of reality might have unrealistic and demanding expectations of how their partner should dress, behave, and act in the bedroom. Such a mindset can cause them to expect one-sided gratification that involves the woman putting in a performative act for the pleasure of the man. This is not how a healthy, functional, two-sided sexual relationship should be. It’s perfectly acceptable to share fantasies with a partner and ask about their limits and boundaries, but it’s not okay to force your sexual demands onto your partner, especially if it’s due to an addiction.
Dangers of Addiction
Porn addiction is a real problem that can lead to a desensitizing of real-life stimuli and strongly interfere with relationships in the real world. As many as 200,000 Americans suffer from porn addiction. Porn addiction is classified as a person becoming emotionally dependent on pornography to the extent that it interferes with their functionalities, relationships, and daily life. Some people become so dependent on porn for sexual gratification that they fail to achieve pleasure with their real-life partners, which can destroy relationship intimacy and trust and interfere with typical life functionality.
Like any addiction, porn addiction surpasses having a strong interest and instead represents a medical change to the brain and body that compels someone towards certain actions, substances, or behaviors. Porn addiction can lead to a decrease in sexual satisfaction, which can harm relationships. It can also cause the addict to ignore responsibilities, develop feelings of shame and frustration, spend large sums of money on porn, and replace healthy coping mechanisms with porn. Additionally, pornography viewing often becomes more extreme as the addiction progresses, as the addict has to seek out increased stimuli to achieve the same release that they once had. Such behavior is common for addicts, once again establishing that porn addiction is a real condition that should be taken seriously.
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, watching porn is not something that is inherently damaging. There is nothing wrong with engaging in fantasies (as long as the filming is legal and consensual). Watching porn can even provide sex tips and new ideas for bedroom enjoyment. However, people need to make a separation between fantasy and reality rather than unhealthily project perceptions of fantasy onto real people. Sex is something that should bring mutual gratification, and this is the key thing to remember when merging desire with fantasy with real life.
Expecting your partner to look and act like a porn star is probably an unrealistic expectation. Instead, you should explore needs and desires with the person you are with to come to a mutual understanding of what feels good and is within boundaries for both parties. At the end of the day, make sure that your porn viewing is not harming your relationships or warping your perceptions and sexual expectations.