This post focuses on spotting red flags and the consequences of failing to recognize them, particularly in romantic relationships.

Red flags are something that many people fail to recognize. Others simply choose to ignore them. In either instance, things can get dire when one doesn’t recognize warning signs. Red flags and deal-breakers vary from person to person. There are certain behaviors that one person might tolerate and someone else would not. In some cases, people can work with their partners to overcome issues if both parties are willing. However, it’s very important to be on the lookout for warning signs that things aren’t as good as they seem. Failing to recognize red flags can be both damaging and dangerous.

Don’t know what a red flag looks like? There are red flags that you can look out for. An easy to spot red flag is lack of communication, including difficulty expressing feelings and discussing problems. Sometimes it takes time to build communication, but continual communication failures should be a warning sign. Another red flag is a lack of trust. If you suspect you’re being lied to or mislead, there is something wrong. Unpredictable, immature, and irresponsible behavior are all potential signs of trouble, especially in older people. People are expected to have a degree of dependability and reliability as they mature.

Feeling insecure is another potential warning sign. While insecurity can be a personal issue, if your partner is doing things that repeatedly trigger your insecurity, that’s likely not healthy. Additionally, it is a bad sign if the person exhibits controlling behavior or is prone to conflict without resolution. Healthy people can recognize when they are wrong and take steps to amend for their wrongdoings. Lastly, while people can sometimes sabotage their happiness, it’s also important to listen to your gut feeling. If something feels off, ask yourself why it does. More often than not, there is a warning sign that your subconscious is sensing.

If you are not generally a good judge of character, it can be beneficial to take things slow with new partners. Wait several months to see if you can trust the person before disclosing personal information that can leave you vulnerable. It can also be helpful to listen to what people around you are saying. At the end of the day, you are the one in the relationship. However, if you find yourself constantly having to make excuses for your partner or defend them to your friends and family, perhaps the people around you are noticing something you haven’t. Sometimes people genuinely are naive, but in many cases, people have an inkling of who someone is but choose to ignore it. Force yourself to see the truth, even if it hurts.

Once red flags have been recognized, it’s imperative to evaluate the situation. What are you risking by ignoring these warning signs? Sometimes people tend to ignore red flags because they want to believe the best in other people, especially when they have romantic feelings for them. In some cases, people are so desperate or eager for the relationship to work out that they are blind to the flaws. In many cases, people fail to recognize red flags because they are seeing the person how they want that person to be. It’s dangerous to idealize another person because that prevents someone from viewing the reality of who that person is.

Romanticizing someone and overlooking red flags can lead to negative consequences. For one, it can lead to disappointment when you eventually discover that the other person is flawed. However, it can also lead to real danger. Though abusers rarely reveal their true nature at first, there are often subtle red flags you can spot from the start if you are paying attention. Recognizing red flags early on can save you from having to endure pain, violence, and trauma. At the same time, it is never too late to leave a bad situation. It doesn’t matter how much time, finances, or effort you feel you have invested in the relationship. If you are in an unhealthy situation, you have the right to safely end it. Stop giving the relationship any more of your precious time.

Lastly, if you have been deceived by someone who seemed nice but ended up being a nightmare, don’t blame yourself. Manipulative people are well-versed in disguising their natures to lure others in and then gradually revealing who they are once the other person already feels trapped. Don’t blame yourself for being mistreated by someone else. Instead, exert more caution when moving forward. Remember that people will eventually reveal who they are. Just make sure that you are truly seeing the real them and not projecting your hopes or expectations for who you wish that person to be.