This post provides candid advice for getting what you want and learning to achieve sustainable happiness.
With social media inundating people with glossy images of impossibly perfect lives, people are craving what others have more than ever before. However, many envy those they see rather than take active steps to attain personal contentment. This begs the question: how can we both get what we want and sustain it?
The first step in getting what you want is rather obvious, though it often goes overlooked. To obtain what you want, you have to know what you want. Indecision is something that plagues many people, and it is a disease. How are we ever going to attain our wants if we cannot even define them? People who get what they want aren’t afraid to ask for it. They can put their wants and needs into words rather than drown in indecision and submission. In line with knowing what one wants, it’s also critical to separate wants from needs. Is what we think we want best for our lives? Or have our desires been tainted by blinding emotions such as lust or fear? Knowing what one wants should go beyond persuasion or illusion to constitute a goal worth attaining.
Do you feel like you seldom get what you want? Well, what is your method for attaining things? Are you relying on yourself or instead of placing your wants at the mercy of someone else? Getting what you want seldom depends on luck. It’s a combination of skill, intelligence, drive, and persuasion. People who get what they want are in control of their own lives. They know how and when to assert themselves. Imagine a scenario: your significant other is doing something that is continually annoying you. You can either sit around silently resenting them and throwing out passive-aggressive comments until you hope they get the hint. Or, you can tell them what you want. Clear, direct communication is the key to a happier, healthier, all-around better life. Stop waiting for other people to read your mind and start asking for things that you want and need.
When it comes to asking for what you want, you need to stop apologizing. Consider how many times a day you say sorry, especially for things that aren’t your fault. Stop apologizing for having wants and needs, and certainly stop apologizing for existing. Unapologetically, but politely, asking for things is the best way to receive those things. However, you should not just ask for what you want. Successful people also listen to the person they are talking with about their needs. No one is obliged to help you. But if you present your desires in a way that is beneficial for both parties, the other person will be much more motivated to assist. Strengthen your requests with a myriad of claims that explain why the other person should help you. Be clear and concise in your presentation, and be sure to temper any notes of entitlement.
Why should someone help you? What will it do for them? What do you have to offer? Ask yourself these questions before requesting anything, because it’s likely they will cross the other person’s mind. Be prepared for the answers with a diverse strategy that highlights why you are worthy. Have confidence and conviction in yourself, because if you don’t, there is no reason why anyone else should. Build yourself up to be a reliable asset. Make yourself invaluable to the person you desire something from, and you will find it is far easier to have your wants and needs fulfilled. Lastly, don’t give up on what you want. Sure, some people luck into positions, and others are born with far better playing cards at their disposal. But you have the choice to go after what you want. Many people only have what they do because they refused to give up. Invest in yourself and be persistent in your goals.
It’s crucial to remember that getting what you want is not the end of the road if you hope to achieve sustainable happiness. Though it may seem strange to consider, many people don’t know what to do with their wants once they obtain them. People can develop tunnel vision and become so singularly focused on obtaining a goal that they find themselves uncertain with how to proceed after receiving it. Develop a plan of action to avoid being in this situation. Don’t allow your desire to achieve something blind you from the reality of attaining your goal. When you get what you want, you better damn well know what to do with it. And remember that you are owed nothing.