As violence against women continues, women must be each other’s allies. This post touches on the dangers of being a woman and the importance of women supporting each other. 

The world can be a scary place to be a woman. Though many strong, fierce, and independent females know how to defend themselves, women face many threats. Many females understand the fear of walking alone at night. We clench keys between our knuckles and carry pepper spray in our purses. We keep our ears alert for the sound of footsteps echoing behind us and feel our chests tighten when a car slows down. We keep our eyes trained ahead when men catcall us and feel relief when we get home and bolt our doors. These aren’t even exceptional fears— they are the day-to-day worries of women in privileged positions and developed countries. Unspoken horrors occur around the world to women, which is why females need to have each other’s backs and be each other’s allies.

Trauma is not exceptional because it is rare, but rather because it has a profound effect. In the United States alone, 1 in 6 women is the victim of a rape or attempted rape. The statistics are even higher for younger women. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that 1 in 3 women have experienced sexual or domestic violence. Men are victims of all types of assault as well. However, women are far more vulnerable to being assaulted sexually and physically. Just because assault is common doesn’t make it any less life-changing and traumatic. On many occasions, people try to downplay their traumas because they believe other people have it worse. We must instead allow others the ability to grieve.

Everyone should be allowed to acknowledge and process their pain. Your pain is as valid as the pain of anyone else. It is instrumental for women to support fellow women, which includes people who are biologically female or identify as a female. Many women can relate to the threats or realities of physical and sexual violence. However, you don’t have to be personally affected to have empathy for those around you. All people have hardship, as every human has experienced some form of suffering. Dig into your personal experience and find the compassion to connect with those around you. Rather than dismiss someone’s issues or immediately attack someone for a surface reason, take up a mindset of support and compassion.

Women are often pitted against each other in society. If two ladies wear the same dress, then there is a poll asking who wore it better. Ex-girlfriends are compared in photo lineups as commenters determine if the man in question “upgraded” or “downgraded.” Many people feel jealousy or insecurity when they see a beautiful and successful female. Resentment and envy can cause people to lash out and be cruel. At the same time, there is an abundance of females who support each other. Strong and empowered women do not feel threatened by fellow female success. Instead, they celebrate and root for women to succeed.

Supporting other women benefits everyone. We face so many threats in the world as it is. The only correct option is to build each other up. How can this be achieved? Encourage the women around you to feel secure and confident. Offer heartfelt advice when it is needed. One of the most important things that we can do for anyone in need is often to listen. You can share your experiences with fellow females in bonding moments, but be sure to allow others the chance to vent their problems and be heard without comparing them to your experiences. It’s important to let people know they are not alone, but it’s also necessary for people to speak.

If you see a woman who looks like she could be in trouble, don’t look the other way. Help the female who is too drunk get home safely. Step in if you see a man making a woman uncomfortable. Use the buddy system when you go out. Stand up for ladies who face discrimination and cruelty. Warn other women about creepy men even if you lose popularity points. Don’t allow the same tragedies that occurred to you to happen to the women around you. Share what you have learned with other females, especially younger women who are the most vulnerable. It’s also necessary to build other women up. Compliment a stranger or comment on a photo. Find the beauty in those around you and let other people know they are seen, appreciated, and admired.

While we cannot rewrite our personal histories, we can try to prevent them from repeating for other women. That doesn’t mean taking abusers to court, as that is a personal decision that is extremely difficult to make. But we can do our best to support fellow women and look out for their safety and well-being. At the same time, women need to be held accountable the same as men. That means that people should not be excused because they are female. Females can and are abusers and should be held responsible for their actions. However, blindly hating fellow women accomplishes nothing. We need to be building each other up through words and actions rather than allowing bitterness, resentment, and insecurity to affect how we treat each other.

Resource: Helping Survivors (organization)