This article explores the topic of love bombing, including how to spot the signs and why it can be unhealthy.
While some people give themselves away with caution, others fall hard and fast. Sometimes, it seems impossible not to want to be with someone when they are lavishing you with compliments and thoughtful gifts. However, things that appear too good to be true often are. Being showered with excessive affection early in a relationship might be a sign that something more sinister is lurking beneath the surface. Discover what love bombing is to avoid relationship manipulation.
Love bombing is a sign of emotional abuse. It might seem like a stretch to link showering someone with affection to a form of manipulation, but that’s what makes this method of control so insidious. Love bombing is something that happens early in a relationship. All of a sudden, you are being drenched with attention, gifts, excessive charm, and heartfelt compliments. The other person might make a declaration of love after only a few days and make you feel like you are their entire world. It might appear like you’re receiving everything you ever wanted from a partner, or it might be overwhelming. Either way, love bombing is dangerous.
The term “love bombing” is believed to have originated in a religious cult in the 70s. Cult leaders learned how to weaponize love to control their followers. This chilling reality also applies to the modern context of the term, though people are now using love bombing as a means to control their partners. How exactly is one able to use affection as a nefarious device? Love bombing starts things out hot and heavy with an avalanche of adoration. However, the displays of affection are not genuine. They are merely a tactic for pulling the other person in so that the love bomber has them ensnared in their clutches when they reveal their true self.
Love bombing is a jarring experience because all of a sudden a fairy tale turns into a nightmare. When the compliments and gifts dry up, people often feel as though they are already too deep into the relationship to pull out. Furthermore, many people choose to stay because they remember how good their partner was and they hope to revive how things once were. Others blame themselves for the shocking change of attitude and try to alter their behavior to change their partner. The fault lies in the manipulator, and there is nothing the partner should do to try and change that person. It is never too late to exit an unhealthy relationship. However, the best approach is always to avoid falling for a manipulator in the first place.
Unfortunately, manipulators are often very charming and convincing people. However, you can learn to spot red flags. Analyze the situation. Is your partner ignoring your requests for privacy? Do they show up unannounced and claim they are surprising you? Do they seem to know too much about your schedule? Are they isolating you from your loved ones? Do they respect your need to be alone? Are they jealous of your relationships? Does it feel like things are moving too quickly? Attention can feel good, but love bombing can often feel smothering. And what comes after love bombing can be horrific. Once the person has made themselves seemingly indispensable, they often will reveal their true nature. This can be dangerous and easily escalate to control and abuse.
When people tell you who they are, it is paramount to listen. People don’t always declare who they are right away, especially when they are manipulative. However, there are almost always signs that something is off. When it comes to relationships, trust your gut. Don’t allow your infatuation for someone to blind you from seeing who that person truly is. Learn how to separate fantasy from reality. Are you seeing the other person, or are you superimposing who you want that person to be? An excellent method for protecting oneself is to take things slow. Reveal more about yourself over time when you have established that you can trust the other person. Don’t give too much too soon when it comes to your vulnerability.
Lastly, it’s important not to confuse love bombing with an actual healthy relationship. People who have only experienced abusive or unhealthy relationships will often feel overwhelming by being treated right for a change. Do not allow yourself to fall back into bad habits because you don’t know how to accept love. However, love bombing surpasses mere kindness. If you feel you are drowning in affection or that your significant other is rushing things, take a step back. Make sure to establish healthy boundaries in your relationship and move at a pace that you are comfortable with. The right person will respect your needs and not overwhelm you with inappropriate and manipulative affection.