This post discusses how to rebuild life after suicidal ideation or plans. It is meant to offer candid hope and support.

Many people now have their lives mapped out for them since they are born. Some people are handed their blueprint and others construct one with guidance from parents or peers or self-motivation. But something that people seldom want to discuss is what happens when these plans are abandoned for suicidal ideations. Suicide is a word that scares many people because it is a full stop. Death is the very opposite of planning a long and thriving life full of promotions and trips to Florida and white picket fences and college funds for children. But what happens when you live through your time of crisis? How do you reconstruct your life after you decided not to commit suicide?

Are Suicide Plans Normal? 

It is hard enough as it is to succeed in 2022, let alone after you planned the end of your existence. Maybe you sabotaged your career or education path. You could have dropped out of college or quit your job amid a severe mental health crisis. Maybe you isolated yourself from your friends and your family, stopped paying your rent, and gave your personal items away. However, you decided that you weren’t going to die after all. Now what? 

If it makes you feel better, you are not alone. That is an important point to clarify because there is nothing wrong with you. Forbes states that suicide is the second leading cause of death for Americans aged 25 to 34. That means many people in their so-called prime working years choose to end their lives. Please don’t take this as an encouragement to follow suit if you have suicidal thoughts. I simply want to stress that you are not alone in feeling this way. 

Rebuilding After Depression

Depression is crippling. It is blinding. It is all-consuming. I believe it is very difficult to grasp if you have not been personally aquatinted with it. When people are in a period of severe depression, the future becomes impossible to see. That can leave people feeling many things once this crisis passes. Perhaps they find themselves numb, confused, hopeful, or even terrified. After all, many people feel as though they are completely thrown off course. All of their peers have advanced with life while they have simply stuck with it. 

Forming a support system is one thing that people can do to start rebuilding their lives and reintegrating into society. Maybe that means reconnecting with friends or family. If there are no bridges left unburned, then there is always hope with new friends. Perhaps, a social club or any sort of social work setting could bring much-needed human interaction. Adopting a pet for companionship is also important, while something such as walking your dog can open new opportunities to connect with others. Meanwhile, there are often options for support groups. 

What To Avoid

While forming connections with other people is often critical in rebuilding, there are other things you can pursue. You can rediscover your passions. Allow yourself to see what gives your life meaning. Maybe that is a hobby that depression hollowed out, or perhaps that is serving someone else in a way that gives your life new meaning. Maybe it is doing something that is fulfilling for yourself. Anything that gives you a reason to live -or better yet, the joy to be alive- is good enough. 

What is tantamount is to avoid falling back into old patterns. This means destructive habits, mindsets, places, people, and substances. Take care of yourself and your body even if you have done years of damage. The body keeps the score, but it also is stronger and more stalwart than you could ever imagine. The body can rebuild. Exercise, eat healthy, sleep, and take your meds. Give yourself and your body the chance to rebuild. 

Happiness Is Possible

Depression is an extremely isolating experience, as are suicidal thoughts or attempts. These are things we deal with at our lowest times, often completely severed from support. Reaching out is the first step in connecting and rebuilding. Know that you are not alone. You are not dealing with something wholly unique to yourself. There are so many other people who understand how you feel. Your life, the fact that your heart is beating, might give them hope and solace. However, you deserve to live for yourself.

It is possible to fully recover. I want to say this because it is true. What if you have a personality disorder? What if your trauma is so ingrained into your system that you could not function without it? Well, there is also hope. You can rewire the way your brain responds to traumas and triggers. You can learn to respond differently. You can build a new life on your terms. You can be happy in your own way. (And your own way is enough.)

There Is Hope

At the end of the day, I want to stress, that the fact that you are still alive is something. It doesn’t matter how people rationalize or judge your existence. To have survived a period of suicidal ideation or even suicide attempts is something. You are here. You exist. You make a conscious choice to get up every day and live. That counts and that matters. In my humble opinion, fuck everyone who thinks differently. You can map out your life one day and one step at a time. You have the opportunity to live, something that you never thought you would be granted. Use this life however you see fit. 

My best advice is to not compare yourself to anyone else. No, this isn’t revolutionary advice, but maybe it means something. It doesn’t matter how far other people go. You can be happy for someone else for a major achievement and proud of yourself for getting out of bed and looking for work. You can pursue a passion or simply carve out a humble and happy existence. You don’t need to be anything greater than you want to be, but you also don’t have to lessen yourself because you feel like you wasted time. 

You didn’t waste anything. What happened cannot be changed. You only have the power to influence the future. You might not be grateful for it every day, but sometimes it is enough to pat yourself on the back and be proud of yourself for being alive. That is a massive accomplishment. You are worthy of life.

Continued Reading: This Is Why You Shouldn’t Die