In this post I explore some of the different ways that flesh is used as a currency and the situations in which this is deemed both acceptable and taboo in modern society.

Two weeks ago, I temporarily flared in fury when I incorrectly believed a friend of mine was accusing me of having used my looks to achieve my college GPA. I was quick to snap and let him know that my GPA was entirely a result of my aptitude and effort, and not because of any perceived sexual allure. However, what my friend was referring to was the fact that I had chose not to report a case of inappropriate sexual conduct, because I didn’t want to lose a valued and trusted mentor. He reminded me that I allowed a transgression to occur, because I valued the insight of an individual over a collegial conduct code. In this sense, my friend was in fact correct. I indeed allowed inappropriate behavior to slide in order to advance my writing.

While my looks weren’t a bargaining chip in this particular case, I have used them to force my hand in a number of situations. You don’t need to be knockout to master the art of feminine wiles; in most cases all it takes is a shock of blonde hair and the right attitude. From free samples to extra discounts and dismissed speeding tickets, you only really need an average face, a stick of eyeliner, and an artfully worked attitude to wield the spell of female power. And I’m not even talking about the actual business side of looks, just the general day to day perks that comes with marketing yourself as sexually desirable.

Theres a reason why “sex sells” is a widespread moniker for the advertising industry. It may seem like a dated or overused saying, but it remains to be true. When choosing the right thumbnail for a movie trailer or Instagram video, editors always gravitate towards the one second of scantily clad flesh. This is what captures the eye and draws audiences in: naked bodies writhing around in apparent ecstasy. Sure, you can try to brand a product as wholesome and family-friendly, and it will draw in its appropriate niche audience. But even if we aren’t readily willing to talk about it in public settings or even among peers, sex captivates us. There’s a reason why the infamous unrated version of the “Blurred Lines” music video has more than 58 million views as of this month (or why PornHub clocked in 28.5 billion visits in 2017.) And these are just some of the societally acceptable ways that sex enters the marketplace and drives profits or at the very least captures our precious attention and raises brand awareness.

The term “sex worker” is met with overwhelmingly pejorative connotations. Though in some cases sex work is certainly a dire situation that women are forced into under horrific circumstances, there is also a far less ghastly side to the sex work industry. We spent a memorable week in a college urban economics class discussing the growing business side of prostitution. The article up for analyzation explored the many merits of high class escort services, which eliminate the threat of pimps and allow women to do background checks on potential johns to guarantee a degree of safety.

While prostitution might be a last ditch resort for some, the article examined how an increasing number of wealthy men are seeking out educated, refined women to be their companions for the night or even an extended excursion. They’re not looking for a pay-by-the-hour romp in a seedy motel on the other side of town; they want a young and well-spoken companion for their weekend trip to Greece. Aspects such as college education and fluency of multiple languages are seen as bonuses in this situation, and there are many standards that must be met to become a high class call girl. (If you want to blow your mind, Google the background history of some of your favorite Insta models. It might surprise you how many fall into the category of “yacht girls.”)

While the average person is wading through student loans and working their way up the food chain, some lucky high class escorts are cruising in their dream cars, sipping champagne, and banking six figure salaries a year. There are also other options for selling your flesh that don’t require having sex. Some buyers are simply looking for a girlfriend experience, meaning they want the companionship of a beautiful young woman. Contrary to popular belief, this isn’t always sexual. Hell, I heard of a girl who swore she paid for her Sarah Lawrence education by sending photos of herself to her sugar daddy, who she would meet up with in the city once a week for a platonic dinner. (Courtesy of Seeking Arrangements, of course.) Other acquaintances of mine have padded their pocket change by selling photos of their feet to men on Craigslist and by simply dining with lonely older men.

Then there are options, such as stripping, that often ban physical contact with the dancers. (Stripping is a tricky category. With the release of films such as Magic Mike, it can be considered “fun” and “risqué” to visit strip clubs for select special events. But this doesn’t make stripping any more of an accepted career choice under the scrutiny of society.) There is also camming, an increasingly popular option that allows women to market their bodies while erasing the threat of violence and the risk of contracting STDs. However, cam girls will have to contend with the fact that everything on the internet lives forever, and there are inherent risks of one’s online profile being discovered by real life friends and acquaintances. This broaches an important question.

Should we be ashamed for marketing our sexuality?

Why is it illegal for an eighteen year old girl to get paid to have sex, but it suddenly becomes legal if said sex is recorded and distributed through an official agency? Yet, in America, she still can’t drink alcohol legally for another three years. It’s alright for, say, a lawyer to defend a sexual predator and America’s biggest modern dynasty to rise out of the wake of a sex tape, but all forms of sex work tend to be met with overwhelmingly negative reactions. Why can’t consensual, legal sex work be viewed as a profession, just like any other? Why must it be met with so much scorn?

Of course it’s impossible to ignore the troubling implications that some sex work has. And you’re not likely to find any parents bragging about their daughter’s AVN Awards. But that doesn’t mean that more forms of sex work shouldn’t be legalized. Legalizing prostitution would allow for safety standards to rise, as well as mandatory STD screening, such as those performed in the porn industry. It also would also stop allowing others, such as pimps, to profit from exploitation. Currently sex for pay is only legal in one state in the United States, yet prostitution is viewed as the world’s oldest profession. Clearly it’s not going anywhere, so we minus as well make it safer. And consider this: legalizing sex work would make it open for taxes. Even the most morally reticent person would have to appreciate this aspect.  

In conclusion, I don’t believe we should be shamed for our sexuality, whether we choose to cash in on it or not. There are certainly dirty, seedy, and downright deplorable aspects of the sex industry, but it’s exactly that: an industry. Whether or not it aligns with your morals, sex work provides a steady source of income for some, and who are we to judge that? When it comes down to it, flesh is used as a currency in many daily life transactions. Before you open your mouth to judge what you just found out about your neighbor’s daughter, perhaps consider what you had to do to get that diamond tennis bracelet from your husband.

Disclaimer: I am referring to consensual and legal sex work. I also acknowledge that the sex industry can be very ugly, with many unsavory aspects that I have not included in this post.